March 18th, 2007 was a day like any other. I was sitting at church in a meeting when I got a text message from my mom. "In the ER with dad, thinks he has pneumonia. Possible mass in his lungs instead. PRAY."
I went silent in this meeting. Nobody in the room existed. The lump in my throat was huge and breathing became a physical pain. I wasn't going to cry, there was so much uncertainty in her text message. Through a series of tests, it was confirmed to be a mass in his lungs. Then later confirmed to be Stage 4 cancer. Most of you know the story ... it progressed until we lost him in December of the same year.
He was a smoker who quit too late, and his body lost the fight. I will never smoke. I am truly repulsed by the act of smoking. It's something so simple that took something so great from me.
One year ago today, my world shattered into pieces. I'm still picking those up. I was changed through this event. Some good, some bad.
I never believed people when they said they miss somebody everyday. Now I do.
So this field was just a total piece of heaven. Across the tiny road, there was a train track overgrown with weeds and it was just gorgeous. Words don't describe how great this place was.
Expect more photos of this "model" in the future. If you need somebody to blame for me missing around here lately, she's the one. :) Just know that it's good, and I'm glad she occupies my time. If we can ever find this field again, there will be more photos to see. I promise you this.
This entry was just to show you how cute she is.
I'm heading up to Big Bear for the weekend. A good time of personal silence, and hopefully some picture taking.